Man Without Qualities

Monday, March 17, 2003

Saint Patrick's Day Shenanigans

The Man Without Qualities is so pleased that Senator Kerry and his consultants have elected to exploit one of my suggestions: Claim the 1986 statement [falsely asserting the Senator's Irish heritage] was conceived on Saint Patrick's Day - when everyone is Irish or thinks they are. Polish up the details.

And, like the pros they are, they did polish it up and make the idea their own - just as I implored!

This might have been one of those priceless "life imitates the Onion" experiences, except that the heavy and obvious hand of Senator Kerry's remorseless spin control makes the whole calculated performance a distinctly Clintonian Moment. One can almost hear the Senator's designated handler muttering to himself as he pens the jokes and "parody" song the Senator sings: "We can't get rid of the ethnic fraud, but so what? He's not running in some green beer state this time. Lets tell people that it's no big deal - we'll have him make fun of it! We've already burlesqued the Jews with the 'my new-found heritage is an inner light' bit in Miami. The Irish-Americans will be a piece of cake."

A genius! Give the boy a raise!

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