Man Without Qualities

Sunday, May 09, 2004

Ramblings Of The Former Mrs. Heinz

Astute reader D.A. e-mails the following trenchant comments:

Teresa Heinz-Kerry - whose $500 millions dollar wealth is the DIRECT result of her marrying a wealthy man - NAMED JOHN HEINZ, (HEIR OF THE KETCHUP COMPANY) - has blatantly charged VP Dick Cheney with UN-PATRIOTISM for NOT HAVING SERVED IN THE MILITARY, and she said NO ONE WHO HAS NOT SERVED CAN CRITICIZE SOMEONE WHO DID.

But the man who left his fortune to her, chose to become an AIR FORCE RESERVIST JUST LIKE BUSH, and - just like Bush - he did NOT see war-time duty - EVEN THOUGH - JUST LIKE BUSH - HE WAS IN THE RESERVES DURING THE VIETNAM WAR!

Here is an excerpt from the OFFICIAL JOHN HEINZ BIO at Carnegie-Mellon:

After enlisting in the U.S. Air Force Reserve, Heinz served on active duty from June to December 1963 at Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas. For the remainder of his enlistment, he served with the 911th Troop Carrier Group based at the Greater Pittsburgh Airport. As an Airman Third Class, he received a U.S. Department of Defense citation for suggestions to improve the management of parts and supplies, saving the Air Force $400,000 annually. With the rank of staff sergeant, he received an honorable discharge from the Air Force Reserves in 1969.

This leads me to ask a few questions of Teresa Heinz-Kerry:

QUESTION #1: Does Teresa Heinz-Kerry think that her late husband served honorably? IF YES, then doesn't she think G.W. Bush did, too?

QUESTION #2: Does Teresa Heinz-Kerry think that her current husband - John Kerry - was UNPATRIOTIC for SEEKING a deferment - which he did do, but which deferment did not get? (John Kerry's request for a student deferment was turned down.)

QUESTION #3 - If John Kerry was NOT unpatriotic for SEEKING A DEFERMENT - but getting turned down - then HOW CAN SHE DARE CRITICIZE CHENEY FOR SEEKING ONE - or more - AND NOT getting turned down? In other words:

Why should Cheney have a lower "moral standing" than Kerry just because the DOD/SSS decided his request was MORE LEGITIMATE than her current husband's?

These are very uncomfortable facts and questions for the former Mrs. Heinz. It can't feel good to have essentially determined herself a hypocrite and to have implicitly called her dead husband (the one she calls her "real" husband, and who she publicly professes still to adore) an unpatriotic coward. And all that when she thought she was just smearing her current husband's opponent! Dear me, life can be so complicated!

But, then, she should get used to it. As she strives to place her husband in the world's most powerful office with her mouth stuck permanently in wide-open/brain-bypass mode, Theresa Heinz Kerry will be learning the hard way that life in the public glare is a lot less comfortable than the one to which her very private 500 million inherited dollars have allowed her to become accustomed. Of course, she'll always have her private jets to keep her warm!

Here's a suggestion for Mrs. Heinz-Kerry:

If you want to shoot your mouth off and have people take what you say on its own basis, instead of referring to your fortune and your husbands, get yourself an pseudonymous blog. In your case, perhaps blogging under the name "Marie Antoinette" would fit the bill. Also, you might want to avoid wearing hats that are quite literally half-cocked.

Just some thoughts.


Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry warned his political opponents on Monday against attacking his outspoken wife, Teresa Heinz Kerry, saying, "They're going to have to go through me."

Er, yes, Senator Kerry. That's exactly the point. "They" are going to go through you and to you. You are going to be the candidate, many people say - even though you, personally, seem a bit unclear on the concept of just what that means.

Now, how about a look at those tax returns for a woman who gives away between $50 and $70 million a year and who allowed you to "borrow" over six million dollars on "your half" of a house whose entirety is appraised for municipal tax purposes at less than that and which is located in a neighborhood in which comparable houses don't sell for anything like that. Huh? How about just a peek? You (or, rather, she) can release them now - or in October, when the pressure becomes unbearable and the effects are the most excrutiating for your campaign chances.

See how that works, Senator? "They" will be going through you and your political needs to obtain release of her tax forms - and that's just what "they" want.

Wake up, Senator. Wake up. It's a lot later than you think it is.